Being Praised

People in my weekly review sessions have been praising me for how well I teach in my BASB mentor sessions. It feels good. But it makes me uncomfortable at the same time, being in that kind of spotlight. I'm at a loss with how to respond. I try to show my gratefulness without making a show of being humble or self-deprecating to offset their praise.

I'm big on self-improvement. If people keep telling me how good I am, then what is there to improve? The thing is, I don't see myself as being as good as they do. They don't see me scrambling on the day of the session preparing my lesson up to the last minute. If I started working on it earlier and spent more time on it, then it could be better and more polished.

I guess polish isn't what they're looking for. My 80% preparedness seems to be enough, because it's my attitude of wanting to be helpful, while also having the skills to help them. It's not just about me teaching the lesson, but also listening to their pain points and sharing solutions from my knowledge.

I realize that most of the people praising me are biased, because we have spent more time together than they have with other mentors. But they point out specific things that I do well, perhaps better than other mentors.

I fear that they are setting up an ideal version of me up in their heads. And when the time comes that I'm not able to live up to it, I would feel like I'm letting them down.