Perfectionist paralysis

In my computer coaching, I enjoy teaching clients how to use second brain apps. Sometimes, they’ll have a project they want me to help with, such as archiving writing or editing essays. I find it harder to do these.

These are something I would have to do on my own time. But I’m not great at managing my own time. It’s so much easier when I have a scheduled block for someone else. I have to show up, or I’ll be letting them down. Of course, if I don’t complete their project, I’ll also be letting them down. But it’s different. There is no strict deadline. There is not a set amount of time that it would take, like our 1-hour sessions. I have to keep working at it until it’s done. By myself.

Why is it so hard to get started and then follow through with it? It comes down to my perfectionistic tendencies. I’m not used to doing these one-off projects. I’m not confident in my ability to complete them. They would take too much time if I were to do it “perfectly”. And so I freeze. I put it off and put it off. Eventually, I’ll get a passable amount done for the next time I see the client. But it’s not up to my standard.

I’ve had this issue with doing homework in university, too. I still haven’t overcome it. I still haven’t developed the ability to focus and monotask without distracting myself from the discomfort of uncertainty in how I’m going to complete it. I don’t know how others seem to be able to do this without trouble.